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Category Archives: Uncategorized

Kill me

My niece, who was born in 92, has just told me that everyone her age likes GNR’s “Sweet Child O’Mine” because it’s a classic. A bit of reflection reveals that, to her, Appetite For Destruction must seem exactly as old as Abbey Road does to me. For some reason this bit of arithmetic makes me [...]

Give me that meat cleaver, I want to put it in my office.

Has this line ever been said before, do you think?

The water between then and now

I’ve picked up some contracting work to help us through the lean times and I’m learning JQuery. Until this point I’ve never used Javascript or JQuery at all, which will become important later. The JQuery ‘hello world’ equivalent is basically this: $(document).ready(function() { alert(‘Suck it.’); }); If you stick that in a file, stick the [...]

Maximizing your Shane-ness

I spend a significant amount of time being the crazy dude who came to someone else’s classroom to talk about how poetry is amazing. Right now, I’m the commencement speaker. I promise, in three hours, I’ll be the guy who looks uncomfortable in a tie on the downtown 4 train. The way it feels to [...]

The utility of booze

“I don’t really know that liquor will cure all the ills in our society. But two or three slugs often cure our curious inability to know each other. Unless we know people well, we sit around with our words and our minds starched, afraid of being ourselves for fear of wrinkling them.” —Budd Schulberg, What [...]

Elvis question

Over the years I’ve heard many live recordings of Love Me Tender. The “official single” — the one you hear on the radio — is noteworthy as the only performance where Elvis does it straight. In all the other ones he fucks it up. Either he breaks out laughing in the middle of it, or [...]

Who’s a happy birthday boy?

Moderation in all things, etc.

Lost

I watched the Lost series finale yesterday and it’s been stuck in my head since. I won’t spoil it — by which I mean I won’t give any details on what happened — but I will say that it was 1) extremely disappointing from a plotting and craftsmanship standpoint, and 2) extremely affecting emotionally. It [...]

Sexy Elia’s Long Straight Highway

Nah, not really. I’m done with school for this semester, so let me tell you a story about an end of semester: I stayed with Beth for extended periods both years I was at NYU, after classes ended in the Spring. Both times I had a class where the teacher gave us till the last [...]

Pancakes

Does anyone want to have pancakes today, around 12:30 ish, at Fat Nan’s in Brooklyn Park? Call me.