It wasn't in the original request, but I should have specified: your critiques must be comprehensible. If you want to be vague and ambiguous you should write your own story.

liked: The sentences were beautiful, many many of them.
disliked: sometimes it felt like I was reading a dr. Bronner's bottle.

It wasn't in the original request, but I should have specified: your critiques must be comprehensible. If you want to be vague and ambiguous you should write your own story.

liked: The sentences were beautiful, many many of them.
disliked: sometimes it felt like I was reading a dr. Bronner's bottle.

Liked: There are some genuinely world-class word-strings in this story, like “the silence between the cut and the welling blood” and “I hold them in my thoughts like a mouthful of grapes”. It's beautifully written and I want to hear someone read it at an open mic poetry night because it's that poetic.

Disliked: The dialog, especially the one at the end between K and M, interrupted the flow of the story, like it was in a different key, dissonant to the rest. To me, at least. And I didn't quite get what happened at the end.