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You know what pisses me off?

Liars. And the idiots who listen to them and go: oh yeah, this thing that you’ve just said contrary to common sense and all my own experience, that must be true because you have said it so authoritatively and because I want to believe it! For instance, here’s one.

So if you find yourself saying the “aches and pains” are just a natural part of getting old, time to stop and realize that it is NOT natural. There is nothing natural about increased inflammation and joint pain. There is nothing natural about someone’s memory going as they get old. There is nothing natural about sexual impotence in your 40s. These are all signs that the body isn’t working correctly and steps need to be taken. But first we need to stop thinking that getting older means we have to experience these problems. There are many people who are still sharp as a tack, energetic and have no need for pain killers in their later years. As an old saying goes “It’s ok to get older….just don’t age in the process”.

Now, obviously a lot of health problems are elective, and come back to diet. If you’re an idiot, you will go on to say that they are all elective. If you’re not an idiot, and you know anything about memory research (for instance) or brain physiology you’ll know that actually, there is something eminently natural about memory getting bad as you get old. Even the older “sharp as a tack” people you know have very obvious and measurable signs of cognitive decline. Does this mean we’re all destined to become doddering fools? Obviously not. Does it mean that a great deal of improvement is possible? Obviously so. But of course that doesn’t make such good copy.

For an even stupider and more obviously ridiculous example, see his point #3.

Different person, different topic, same stupidity.

But the problem of saying “I don’t have time to read that” applies to anything – it could be blogs but it could be those really long articles in the Atlantic that scream: “I know no one is reading this article! I only wrote it to get a book deal!”The reality is that you have time to read everything.

Here’s what to do if you feel like you can’t get a grip on your reading pile:

Stop talking about information overload. That term is for weaklings. Guess what? Generation Y never talks about information overload. That’s because they know how to process information better than anyone else. That’s actually what they were doing when their parents told them to turn off the TV and the music and log off of IM and do their homework.

If you think you have time to read everything worth reading, you’re not a savvy information consumer, you’re a fucking retard. A hundred years ago nobody could read everything worth reading, and now you can’t even read everything worth reading in your own field, whatever that might be. Pretending that you can use some badass “Generation Y” strategy to get around this means only that one of the defining traits of Gen Y must be brain damage. And don’t even get me started on this “multi-tasking” bollocks. Unless you define multi-tasking as “doing a variety of things at the same time except slower and worse than if I had done each of them individually one right after the other” then common sense, and all the research, points the other way.

I don’t mind so much people saying stupid shit; what gets to me, for some reason, is the legion of commenters who always pop up saying: “thanks for another great post!1!! this is exzactly what ive always known and im frowarding it to a thousand of my frendz!! u r an inspiration to everyone!” These people should be rounded up and sent to work camps, where their reality-denying could be put to better use.

  • This is the best post evar!! Ur a total genius!!!1! (just kidding :) these people are indeed olympically stupid.

    I especially concur w/ your opinion on multitasking, which I have always defined as doing a bunch of things very badly at once. I wonder how many people realize that not even computers can literally multitask, they just switch very quickly from task to task.
  • dran
    Ha! Science. Sure, if you want to be all sciency. But of course an argument based on 'there are people who don't follow the statistical tendencies' will disagree with one based on measuring the statistical tendencies. The fact is studying the outliers doesn't get done as often.

    The quote, though, seems to imply people who avoid the maladies of old age are more than outliers, so that's wrong, okay. But they're defining naturally different than you and that's not totally wrong.

    As for information overload, yeah, that person is wrong too. But I mean, you gotta have hope! Hope to overcome the limitations of the present. Denying them is fooldardy but it can help overcome them if denial is later mixed with a dose of logic and consistency.
  • houlios
    Hah! This annoys me too, most recently in regards to healthcare. Every time some fucker says, "The government is gonna ration healthcare!" A million people nod in agreement and get indignant about how horrible rationing is. Oh wait! Healthcare is already having the shit rationed out of it, that's part of the problem. Its rationed by the size of your bank account, its rationed by your job, and its rationed by your health insurance company. HOWARD DEAN SCREAM! AHHHHHHHHH!
  • My pet peeve along these lines is academics (and anyone, but academics are the worst culprits) who say that the internet "age" makes everything more complicated, more complex, totally different, new and unimproved, etc...

    At a conference recently, I asked a guy whose entire paper was about how the world is now more complicated because of the internet what he meant by more complicated. The moderator clarified my question by asking "yeah. is it 10 percent more complicated? 90 percent?" The guy just got annoyed. He didn't have an answer. He hadn't even thought about it. It was just a phrase he knew most people would accept and so he based his ENTIRE paper on it.
  • Wesley
    The "Somebody on the internet is WRONG" comment reminded me of our days with the wonderful blog by the inventor (or someday inventor) of the Algorithm Machine. Man I miss those blog entries. Crazy is so much fun to read.
  • No, I'm trying to avoid the "Somebody on the internet is WRONG" trap, though
    I don't always avoid it by much. I had literally opened up a "comment"
    window and had my fingers poised above the keyboard before I shook myself
    and said "what the fuck am I doing?"
    A happy medium is for me to respond on my own blog. That way at least I get
    something out of it besides frustrated.
  • Wesley
    I read through the second blogs comments eagerly hoping to see you smack her down, but unfortunately either I missed it or you didn't do it.
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